Post by gimbal on Aug 19, 2013 21:45:49 GMT
Results - 19/08/2013
1. Should wine be watered down in order to curb alcohol-related illnesses?
Yes 3.8%
No 96.2%
2. Have you ever watched 'The thick of it'?
Yes, I love it 32.9%
Yes 14.5%
Yes, it's rubbish 1.4%
No 51.2%
3. Are you afraid of falling in love?
Yes 21.7%
No 78.3%
4. Should we tell children that dreams just don't come true?
Yes 20.2%
No 79.8%
5. If you were to write a book what would it be about?
A photography book on the portraits without faces.
My shitty boring life, it would be more of a pamphlet than a book
A guide for helping parents manage their childrens online activity entitled; It's All Your Fault - Take Some Fucking Responsibility and Stop Blaming Everyone (and Everything) Else.
Sex, love, pain, death, joy... Mostly fighting and fucking, really.
A political 'what if?'
The experiences I've been through since I've been ill with Crohn's disease. Not just the medical tomfoolery and the surgery, but also the attitudes I've come up against while I was working (from being regularly told I'm a hard worker when well to being told I wasn't pulling my weight because I'd been off ill) interestingly, mainly from male managers. Plenty of humour too through to the heart string pulling thought that if I hadn't been ill it wouldn't have been so easy to become my mother's carer when she was diagnosed with terminal secondary cancer. Life affirming stuff (and hopefully not too blokey)!
My life, from a shy 18 year old boy with no pubes to an absolute slag.
A goose probably. Couple o goats too
Love and music.
I'd love to write a serial killer story but I'm not that great at words and it'd probably just look like a copy of some of my favourite books. I'll stick to making films.
stuff
Bazooka
Bullying & the effect it has on the child for the rest of their life.
Cricket & murder!
Probably a romantic novel based around a relationship starting from online socialising and turning into a 50 shades of grey type novel....
Me
death
A pig that does chemistry so well that it has to be put into hiding.
Me me me.
Love, loss, torture, many interesting female characters, and one fanservice girl who's got tentacles.
Legs
Sci-fi fantasy parallel universe thing
Ninja cowboy space explorers...
Sex. Probably my sexual memoirs... There are a lot. Failing that, a children's book very much not about sex.
A book of the stupid, boring, idiotic, mundane and unbelievable things people ask me in work everyday.
the online life and times of SJF
I don't know but it would be called The Llama Sutra.
Life
My life
Jazz hands
Ancient War/Fantasy......or boobs
I wouldn't have the talent or patience
A crazy murder mystery.
Anal sex
Non-fiction - probably something about IT. I don't have enough imagination to write fiction.
a dog and a sausage
How to escape from a Unicorns chuff, with nothing more than a pair of slippers as hands
The futility and meaningless of life. It would be a comedy.
My life
I have an idea for a sci-fi spy/secret agent/resistance fighter graphic novel but don't really have the time to start, although I can see it in my head. I also can't draw.
The difference between Pepsi & Coke
It would be a science fiction book about a middle aged woman who is abducted by aliens. She teaches them how to cook and crochet, which they are very impressed with. She becomes part of their community, but desperately needs to find out why she was abducted in the first place…
Procrastination
Sex
The trials and tribulations of being a single mum of three while working full time, probably
Sharks.
my mum, such a wonderful person. Alzheimer's robbed me of my mum.
There isn't a book in me........
?
Fantasy fiction or a children's book
Nobody would care to read it. Question 4 is a bollocks question. What utter rubbish.
My twitter addiction
Probably some kind of murder mystery type thing
IT'S A SECRET! An ex and I once had an idea to write a kids' book about a tiny magic black labrador who grants wishes to kids. Someone got there first. www.toonhound.com/merlin.htm
A work of fiction, though everything in it will have been one of the bizarre things that have happened in my life, that no one would believe if I presented it as non-fiction.
I don't have a scooby doo.
Something about a caterpillar who was peckish. I don't know. I'm tired. And drunk.
Me.
I already am. Quick synopsis - Life doesn't always go to plan, but sometimes family is found not made and planning everything means you could be missing out on so much.
Nursing
Wrasslin'
Kitchen design.
Dragons and stuff.
Gay gangster or footballer
Crab people
I've written two! One is about my job and the other about music. Neither will ever see the light of day.
The widespread corruption in the Coalition Govt
Magical creatures that live in your belly button.
It would be about the abolition of red tape, bureaucracy the blame culture and a re-introduction of common sense and taking responsibility for ones actions.
Sex, football or footballers having sex
My somewhat dull life!
Cheese.
Probably something ranty and sarcastic.
About how children should just be left to be children instead of having to grow up so fast
Given my answers to the previous questions, saying no.
My hideous love life.
How not to write books
How not to do it
There's this amateur league cricket player, who's also a spy and a time traveler, who teams up with his beautiful but deadly sidekick (Jason Statham) and solves crimes and that using science and the ancient martial art Kickem-inna-face
Torture and murder
Write what you know; bugger all!
I once submitted a short story to a competition about a superhero who was exceptionally good with knives. However the stories that eventually won were of a standard about 10 times higher than mine, so that was the rather premature end of my writing career!
your mum
It would be about a girl who has dreams that she is a princess, no one at school notices her. In the end it turns out that no one notices her at school because she's a ghost... Of a dead princess
I wouldn't Committing words to paper is scary.
It would be novel. That's as much I have, sorry.
Luxury Travel
Serial killers or music
The shit I see at work
If I tell you, you'll write it before me and make millions and I will be cry-wanking at the news that it has won the Booker prize.
I wouldn't
If?!? I've just had 12 books published by @twournal - my first 110110 tweets!!!
It'd be a chick-lit comedy based on all of the ridiculous things that happen to me on a regular basis.
A book telling kids that dreams do come true but you have to work fucking hard to help it along. Jesus some of these questions are shite sometimes.
How to get through life with no goals or ambition.
Umm....this is probably why I have never written a book.
The truth.
I'd like it to be about M*A*S*H,the TV series, but it's more likely to be a dry tome about authenticity in entrepreneurial marketing strategy
Omfg too much shit to even think about let alone write down
I am writing a book... it's gonna be awesome
Individual named X for these purposes. So it would start with a background to X's life-friends,family,work and social lives. Then one night they were involved in a car accident - not X's fault but that of a drink driver. X is critically injured and lying in a coma...friends and family gather and uncertainty builds as they contemplate a life without X and the possibility of switching off the life support and organ donation. Meanwhile, X is in limbo-lost and unsure where to go. A guide aids them and They relive memories, see the potential future and the present day activities of their hospital bed and X must decide whether they want to go back to their life or embark on a new opportunity of guiding and helping other lost souls as shown in various examples by the Guide. But X must make the choice before time runs out and X's family makes the decision for them...Then the reader has the option of alternative endings - the one where X dies; they begin a new journey but the family suffer a crushing loss. Or X wakes up with a new outlook on life with their friends and family around them. The end.
I'm not telling. I had a dream about a brilliant story and I want to write a book based on it so if I told you now then you wouldn't buy it would you?!
My life. It's so fucked up it would probably sell shitloads.
My life. It's so fucked up it would probably sell shitloads.
My fabulous life...the secrets I could tell
I started one once. Never finished it. SIGH
Already written one. It's not available anywhere.
The same as every other buggers, finding love, losing it, finding it, losing it, finding it again at the wrong time, fate and settling...
A priest who loses his faith and turns to a life of sin
The story of my mums life. It would be an amazing read. Or a book about how shit it can be when you have a baby, just an honest story.
I am writing a book, it's about trains.
An instruction manual of some sort.
About love and betrayal - simple everyday things.
Mommy porn
The Hungry Caterpillar part 2
I have written a book based on my late teens. Culture clash, domestic violence but all funny. You'll all be reading it soon.
Erm chocolate biscuits. Or medieval stuff. Or maybe cheese eating.
My debauched sexy adventures
Building fucking castles
Some people doing some cool stuff. I would love to be a writer but, while I am quite good at writing, I am crap at thinking of things to write about.
I'd probably write about the various romantic disasters throughout my life and the places that I've been to which they've occurred in... some of the stories would be amusing but also toe-curlingly cringeworthy. I'd also probably keep having to add to it...!
My love life and girls nights out
Working with your hands and the peace it can bring
How Not Fail At Life By Doing The Complete Opposite To Me
The most natural first novel would undoubtedly be very heavily influenced by the every day disasters of my life and inability to snare a guy. It would have lots of swearing in it.
getting screwed by my school teacher
A starship, al a Star Trek.
Erotic hamster based stories.
I'm not going to admit that on here in case some cunt nicks my idea.
I would write it about my exploits in nursing
Not telling because it is a bloody brilliant idea. Probably never get to it though.
My life. I'm a clever bloke that repeatedly does stupid things that people find amusing. Bastards.
It would be a supernatural crime thriller with a chef hero who had lots of dirty sex. So basically, my autobiography except not.. at all.
Twitter crush hookups and heartbreaks.
I have an idea for a time travel story, a story about contageon and one life story that's almost autobiographical. Just wish I had the talent to make the stories come alive.
I'm a terrible writer. I've always wanted to publish a coffee-table style photography book, though. Maybe one day...
I have a plot synopsis developing and which I could not begin to explain here unfortunately. A lot of prep and research to do first. I really hope I can see it through. Quite a daunting task! I'm 33 soon, it's about time I give it a serious go
I've already written four, and they have to be about people. Plot and story are secondary concerns, because unless the characters are engaging, it's pointless.
Chick-lit style - tales of a single girl. With lots of sex.
Love and all that shizzle
Not giving my secrets away!
My life and my descent into madness, including all the juicy secrets I hold for so many "friends"
About the difficulties of living with a troll under my bed.
Drugs and football violence. The only two things I know about
It would be the phd I failed to finish. That'd be it, no one would read it and that would be just fine by me.
Twitter Crushes What I Have Had - one for each chapter.
about my work and the stupid things that children say and do.
A family of lions living incognito in East London.
Fucking inane boredom.
I've written two, but if I were to write a third, I think it might be a crime novel with a female protagonist.
About the life of people in retail, the funny, weird, outrageous things we have seen.
Penis.
Music
Boobs.
The life and death of Lucy Magnusson.
Life. Just life in general.
I'd write it about twitter! That's all I got.
Sleep
A group of six friends and the goings on.
How to survive a shit marriage and come out of the other side better, happier and wiser. With a side order of knowing your ex has crashed and burned big time! Karma is a bitch and I love her for that.
How to look after 2 kids, 1 husband and run a house. It ain't easy! And you don't get paid!
A piece of fluff
I've still got all my diaries from 12 until around 22, thought it'd be good to do something based on those until I read them and all I wanted to do was burn them.
I don't have a book in me!
Music
A perfect world. A perfect love. A perfect life. A perfect dream.
I can't give away the plot. Some other fucker will write it before me if I do that...
Fast cars and cheap women....
It would probably be a cookery book. One old friend used to tell me I should get myself a tv show.
Drugs and football violence. The only two things I know about
Glue.
Paris and London fashions from 1947 (new look Dior) through to the 1950s and the people who lived then.
I haven't a fucking clue. Sorry.
I'd like to an autobiography of my life, an ordinary bloke life, just my normal life in a book.
A series of comic misunderstandings befalling a group of mostly white middle class men (and some women) in a contemporary London setting, with hilarious consequences.
Anal Sex for Beginners.
My life. I started it but it was full of tangents. Appropriately
I have a half- finished book (don't we all) about playing sunday league football
I'm writing my second at the moment.
Duck rape and their exploding penises (penii?)
I've never heard a more ridiculous suggestion than question 1. I'd right a children's book. I have a story in mind. None of your business.
An ungrateful spoilt brat of a man who is punished by being sent to 1913. He ends up falling in love and gets married before being pressured into joining the army. He is tormented by small children who appear to him and taunt him for being scared, constantly reminding him that he is the only one who knows just how long the war will go on for. He lives through the war, returning to his wife and child shell shocked and physically scarred. Given the chance to return to the present, he does but finds he is unable to cope as no one else understands what he's been through and he cannot talk about it with anyone. He begs to be returned to the past. He is and finds happiness when reunited with his family.
A sassy dinosaur family called the McGoverns.
A biography of Lew Grade.
Fear. And death. And running away. Probably
My shitty depressed suicidal life that always fucks up, I'm always the one things turn out shit for, I'm always the one hurt, and the moral of the story is life is fucking shit, it's a load of bollocks and you can do fuck all to change it.
Oh many things
Revenge.
My life so far in an effort to try and make some sense of it. Or Abba.
Anal Sex for Beginners.
A child's dreams coming true
I'd like to write a book about what I've been though. The rape, the PTSD, the depression, the miscarriage and how I'm still standing (even though I don't really know myself). I'm worried I'll never fall in love, opening up enough to let that happen is the most terrifying thing I can imagine at the moment.
Russian history.
I'd maybe right a children's book. I'd quite like to illustrate a story.
The elephant and the ditch
Something introspective and navel-gazing. Or the entertainment of watching twitter crushes carry on.
Guitars, probably...or music
SEXY TIME
It'd be a collection of poorly written short stories
40-something unrequited love
Bees.
Frogs
Fiction. But, not sure what.
I would rather gouge my own eyes out with a rusty teaspoon than write a book.
The true story of Samantha Cameron's tepid, unsatisfying, yucky sex life with David that creeps her out.
The true story of Samantha Cameron's tepid, unsatisfying, yucky sex life with David that creeps her out.
Fuck all.
Sex and bacon
Depression
A tell all about my great romance; except I'm lonely & single. and am too much of a gentleman to divulge any details. It would be a very short book.
A story about a girl who spent her life playing so many different roles for different people that she didn't know who she was anymore. On her 33rd birthday she wakes up and realises she has to become herself, just one role .....
Probably some stupid love story where everything just works out fine for everyone.
I've done it, and it's published. It's a (not) fictional look at an amateur eventer/IT geek's life. Took five years to produce and two years to get published, was cathartic to write and helped get me out of a spell of depression, due to the death of my four month old daughter.
Probably something humour and mental illness related. God, I don't know
Me.
Nooo idea, but something that would make money or I wouldn't bother!
A child with learning difficulties
A kids book about a sausage dog. I've even drawn some pictures for it!
Something filthy
My life. You would NOT believe the shit I've seen & done. But I can't. Signed a form & everything. Probably shouldn't be writing this...
Why you should fear your government.
My life. Destroyed by addiction, recovery and life now!
Where I work, you wouldn't believe half the shit that goes on there............
Depression
A trip to the moon
Being a student nurse
What makes the best pub in England.
Sex tips, as I'm an expert.
If I wrote a book it would have to be a non fiction one that would help people in some way. However, I had trouble writing a 500 word essay at school many years ago and I much prefer reading to writing, so I probably wouldn't write one at all x
Probably a book of knitting patterns or a tell all book about my abusive childhood.
I have no idea.
I already have a title. But as it's a pun I intend to protect I'm not going to say what it is. Suffice to say it's based on public service in Wales, something I have 20 years experience of. It may or may not have zombies in it.
Whistle-blower for all the secret twitter affairs.
A brilliantly witty, clever, unputdownable novel about something or other. Just havnt thought of anything yet!
I haven't got the patience to write a book
My life.
about the shortest book ever!
How Tuesdays are worse than Mondays
The comedy of my life.
I don't really have the imagination to write a book
Well I am writing a book, like most people on Twitter. It's meant to be about a Revolution but it keeps turning into a love story. It's based on a dream I once had about some people I used to know a long time ago. It's also based on my conversion as a teenager from middle class Catholic Tory to raging atheist socialist. I just wish my characters would all stop crawling into bed with each other or it'll end up like one of those dreadful free erotic fiction novels on Amazon.
Serial killers!!
Children's dreams and how we should help them to believe. Especially that one about the monster under the bed...
General nonsense.
Sex.
Beer and travelling.
The dark thoughts harboured by the most normal people. It would scare the shit out of most folk.
Silliness. Probably zombies. And unicorns. Shotguns. Dragons.
Domestic abuse.
The murder of a fake mummy blogger who is actually a childless man by terrifying Mumsnetters
A fiction story of a man that was born to a virgin
Existential angst, murder, lies, love, loss and creating and defining your own meaning to your life that will eventually let you be the person you were meant to be.
A chinaman
Magical stuff
Magical stuff
Failure, probably
Fannies
Probably a collections of the incredible stories I have collected from my job.
Something children found popular. Kerching.
About the trials and tribulations of being a slug.
Work stuff most likely (anaesthesia)
Importance of medical education, and continuing medical education along a career path.
It would be a kids book with animals in
This question has never crossed my mind, and I have no desire to be a writer. So maybe it would be a short story about people who like reading but don't want to write? (Sorry, it's still early in the morning.)
A jumped up twitter whore who thinks because she is ridiculed on a 2 but local radio show she is famous n special.
Heartbreak murder and the misuse of penguins.
It'd have to be non-fiction; my imagination's rubbish
The life and times of me
Love. And how impossible it to find it. And when you do it doesn't find you. How timing can be a bitch. That the one who is perfect in every way don't see you, and how people ruin their own happiness by chasing the wrong thing. Just open your eyes, man, I'm here, right in front of you.
I am writing a book. But the plot is a secret.
I don't think I'll write a book.
Recovery and living with severe mental illness
A futuristic theme park where they have managed to clone dinosaurs.
Sea Otters
Pitfalls of life
Sadly I don't think I have a book in me
My life
My secret love KB
An unlucky tree called Timmy
The monotony of working in an office, part 16
All the men I've been with!
Probably do it about working on a locked ward, lots of funny stories and some sad ones too! Or one about dragons and what not
Probably an epic historical drama/coming of age story. Maybe with dragons. Basically game of thrones but less people die.
Mucky stuff, of course.
Weight loss/gain/dieting/exercise hell.
Serial killers or music
Socks. Their use for wanking
Magic
my cats
The last year of my life.
Already have written a book - 3 actually. Very diverse topics; 2 fiction, 1 non-fiction. One in my real name, two under a pseudonym. Writing is not my day job.
My dreams, which are weird as hell, so I'm glad dreams don't come true
Spanking.
I'd love to write a book about kids tv shows from when I was little. Moomins, Count Duckula, Sharkey and George, Huxley Pig, The Secret Life of Toys, Shoe People, Juniper Jungle , I could go on.
It would be a nonsensical wander through loads of mad places, bit like Jean Luc Goddards Weekend but for kids. it would mostly be pictures.
Sex. That's where the money is at the moment.
Being sad in Wales. Like Dylan Thomas on Mogadon
I'd write an autobiography, I'm just that self-centred
My book would be called "Learning to read". It would have one page that says "Well done".
Probably a crime/murder/police type of thing.
I'd love to write a book about all the strange things I think about to do with us as people. Me and my brother sometimes get so philosophical it gives me headaches. So I'd love to expel the thoughts from my brain to a page. I think that's the best explanation for it. (I'm a terrible writer though) ...can't wait to read these answers there's gonna be a real mixed bag!
My fun filled life.
Irn bru.
Autism and how to change the ignorance surrounding it
I have no idea.....that's why I will never write a book
How to be a cunt
I couldn't imagine!
Probably children/domestic family situation type chick lit although I'd like to think I could do something a little weightier!!
Something history related.
My life. I wouldn't let anyone else read it.
I like the idea of writing some kind of crime thriller, but more realistically it would be some kind of text/reference book
How not to screw up your life
1. Should wine be watered down in order to curb alcohol-related illnesses?
Yes 3.8%
No 96.2%
2. Have you ever watched 'The thick of it'?
Yes, I love it 32.9%
Yes 14.5%
Yes, it's rubbish 1.4%
No 51.2%
3. Are you afraid of falling in love?
Yes 21.7%
No 78.3%
4. Should we tell children that dreams just don't come true?
Yes 20.2%
No 79.8%
5. If you were to write a book what would it be about?
A photography book on the portraits without faces.
My shitty boring life, it would be more of a pamphlet than a book
A guide for helping parents manage their childrens online activity entitled; It's All Your Fault - Take Some Fucking Responsibility and Stop Blaming Everyone (and Everything) Else.
Sex, love, pain, death, joy... Mostly fighting and fucking, really.
A political 'what if?'
The experiences I've been through since I've been ill with Crohn's disease. Not just the medical tomfoolery and the surgery, but also the attitudes I've come up against while I was working (from being regularly told I'm a hard worker when well to being told I wasn't pulling my weight because I'd been off ill) interestingly, mainly from male managers. Plenty of humour too through to the heart string pulling thought that if I hadn't been ill it wouldn't have been so easy to become my mother's carer when she was diagnosed with terminal secondary cancer. Life affirming stuff (and hopefully not too blokey)!
My life, from a shy 18 year old boy with no pubes to an absolute slag.
A goose probably. Couple o goats too
Love and music.
I'd love to write a serial killer story but I'm not that great at words and it'd probably just look like a copy of some of my favourite books. I'll stick to making films.
stuff
Bazooka
Bullying & the effect it has on the child for the rest of their life.
Cricket & murder!
Probably a romantic novel based around a relationship starting from online socialising and turning into a 50 shades of grey type novel....
Me
death
A pig that does chemistry so well that it has to be put into hiding.
Me me me.
Love, loss, torture, many interesting female characters, and one fanservice girl who's got tentacles.
Legs
Sci-fi fantasy parallel universe thing
Ninja cowboy space explorers...
Sex. Probably my sexual memoirs... There are a lot. Failing that, a children's book very much not about sex.
A book of the stupid, boring, idiotic, mundane and unbelievable things people ask me in work everyday.
the online life and times of SJF
I don't know but it would be called The Llama Sutra.
Life
My life
Jazz hands
Ancient War/Fantasy......or boobs
I wouldn't have the talent or patience
A crazy murder mystery.
Anal sex
Non-fiction - probably something about IT. I don't have enough imagination to write fiction.
a dog and a sausage
How to escape from a Unicorns chuff, with nothing more than a pair of slippers as hands
The futility and meaningless of life. It would be a comedy.
My life
I have an idea for a sci-fi spy/secret agent/resistance fighter graphic novel but don't really have the time to start, although I can see it in my head. I also can't draw.
The difference between Pepsi & Coke
It would be a science fiction book about a middle aged woman who is abducted by aliens. She teaches them how to cook and crochet, which they are very impressed with. She becomes part of their community, but desperately needs to find out why she was abducted in the first place…
Procrastination
Sex
The trials and tribulations of being a single mum of three while working full time, probably
Sharks.
my mum, such a wonderful person. Alzheimer's robbed me of my mum.
There isn't a book in me........
? Fantasy fiction or a children's book
Nobody would care to read it. Question 4 is a bollocks question. What utter rubbish.
My twitter addiction
Probably some kind of murder mystery type thing
IT'S A SECRET! An ex and I once had an idea to write a kids' book about a tiny magic black labrador who grants wishes to kids. Someone got there first. www.toonhound.com/merlin.htm
A work of fiction, though everything in it will have been one of the bizarre things that have happened in my life, that no one would believe if I presented it as non-fiction.
I don't have a scooby doo.
Something about a caterpillar who was peckish. I don't know. I'm tired. And drunk.
Me.
I already am. Quick synopsis - Life doesn't always go to plan, but sometimes family is found not made and planning everything means you could be missing out on so much.
Nursing
Wrasslin'
Kitchen design.
Dragons and stuff.
Gay gangster or footballer
Crab people
I've written two! One is about my job and the other about music. Neither will ever see the light of day.
The widespread corruption in the Coalition Govt
Magical creatures that live in your belly button.
It would be about the abolition of red tape, bureaucracy the blame culture and a re-introduction of common sense and taking responsibility for ones actions.
Sex, football or footballers having sex
My somewhat dull life!
Cheese.
Probably something ranty and sarcastic.
About how children should just be left to be children instead of having to grow up so fast
Given my answers to the previous questions, saying no.
My hideous love life.
How not to write books
How not to do it
There's this amateur league cricket player, who's also a spy and a time traveler, who teams up with his beautiful but deadly sidekick (Jason Statham) and solves crimes and that using science and the ancient martial art Kickem-inna-face
Torture and murder
Write what you know; bugger all!
I once submitted a short story to a competition about a superhero who was exceptionally good with knives. However the stories that eventually won were of a standard about 10 times higher than mine, so that was the rather premature end of my writing career!
your mum
It would be about a girl who has dreams that she is a princess, no one at school notices her. In the end it turns out that no one notices her at school because she's a ghost... Of a dead princess
I wouldn't Committing words to paper is scary.
It would be novel. That's as much I have, sorry.
Luxury Travel
Serial killers or music
The shit I see at work
If I tell you, you'll write it before me and make millions and I will be cry-wanking at the news that it has won the Booker prize.
I wouldn't
If?!? I've just had 12 books published by @twournal - my first 110110 tweets!!!
It'd be a chick-lit comedy based on all of the ridiculous things that happen to me on a regular basis.
A book telling kids that dreams do come true but you have to work fucking hard to help it along. Jesus some of these questions are shite sometimes.
How to get through life with no goals or ambition.
Umm....this is probably why I have never written a book.
The truth.
I'd like it to be about M*A*S*H,the TV series, but it's more likely to be a dry tome about authenticity in entrepreneurial marketing strategy
Omfg too much shit to even think about let alone write down
I am writing a book... it's gonna be awesome
Individual named X for these purposes. So it would start with a background to X's life-friends,family,work and social lives. Then one night they were involved in a car accident - not X's fault but that of a drink driver. X is critically injured and lying in a coma...friends and family gather and uncertainty builds as they contemplate a life without X and the possibility of switching off the life support and organ donation. Meanwhile, X is in limbo-lost and unsure where to go. A guide aids them and They relive memories, see the potential future and the present day activities of their hospital bed and X must decide whether they want to go back to their life or embark on a new opportunity of guiding and helping other lost souls as shown in various examples by the Guide. But X must make the choice before time runs out and X's family makes the decision for them...Then the reader has the option of alternative endings - the one where X dies; they begin a new journey but the family suffer a crushing loss. Or X wakes up with a new outlook on life with their friends and family around them. The end.
I'm not telling. I had a dream about a brilliant story and I want to write a book based on it so if I told you now then you wouldn't buy it would you?!
My life. It's so fucked up it would probably sell shitloads.
My life. It's so fucked up it would probably sell shitloads.
My fabulous life...the secrets I could tell
I started one once. Never finished it. SIGH
Already written one. It's not available anywhere.
The same as every other buggers, finding love, losing it, finding it, losing it, finding it again at the wrong time, fate and settling...
A priest who loses his faith and turns to a life of sin
The story of my mums life. It would be an amazing read. Or a book about how shit it can be when you have a baby, just an honest story.
I am writing a book, it's about trains.
An instruction manual of some sort.
About love and betrayal - simple everyday things.
Mommy porn
The Hungry Caterpillar part 2
I have written a book based on my late teens. Culture clash, domestic violence but all funny. You'll all be reading it soon.
Erm chocolate biscuits. Or medieval stuff. Or maybe cheese eating.
My debauched sexy adventures
Building fucking castles
Some people doing some cool stuff. I would love to be a writer but, while I am quite good at writing, I am crap at thinking of things to write about.
I'd probably write about the various romantic disasters throughout my life and the places that I've been to which they've occurred in... some of the stories would be amusing but also toe-curlingly cringeworthy. I'd also probably keep having to add to it...!
My love life and girls nights out
Working with your hands and the peace it can bring
How Not Fail At Life By Doing The Complete Opposite To Me
The most natural first novel would undoubtedly be very heavily influenced by the every day disasters of my life and inability to snare a guy. It would have lots of swearing in it.
getting screwed by my school teacher
A starship, al a Star Trek.
Erotic hamster based stories.
I'm not going to admit that on here in case some cunt nicks my idea.
I would write it about my exploits in nursing
Not telling because it is a bloody brilliant idea. Probably never get to it though.
My life. I'm a clever bloke that repeatedly does stupid things that people find amusing. Bastards.
It would be a supernatural crime thriller with a chef hero who had lots of dirty sex. So basically, my autobiography except not.. at all.
Twitter crush hookups and heartbreaks.
I have an idea for a time travel story, a story about contageon and one life story that's almost autobiographical. Just wish I had the talent to make the stories come alive.
I'm a terrible writer. I've always wanted to publish a coffee-table style photography book, though. Maybe one day...
I have a plot synopsis developing and which I could not begin to explain here unfortunately. A lot of prep and research to do first. I really hope I can see it through. Quite a daunting task! I'm 33 soon, it's about time I give it a serious go
I've already written four, and they have to be about people. Plot and story are secondary concerns, because unless the characters are engaging, it's pointless.
Chick-lit style - tales of a single girl. With lots of sex.
Love and all that shizzle
Not giving my secrets away!
My life and my descent into madness, including all the juicy secrets I hold for so many "friends"
About the difficulties of living with a troll under my bed.
Drugs and football violence. The only two things I know about
It would be the phd I failed to finish. That'd be it, no one would read it and that would be just fine by me.
Twitter Crushes What I Have Had - one for each chapter.
about my work and the stupid things that children say and do.
A family of lions living incognito in East London.
Fucking inane boredom.
I've written two, but if I were to write a third, I think it might be a crime novel with a female protagonist.
About the life of people in retail, the funny, weird, outrageous things we have seen.
Penis.
Music
Boobs.
The life and death of Lucy Magnusson.
Life. Just life in general.
I'd write it about twitter! That's all I got.
Sleep
A group of six friends and the goings on.
How to survive a shit marriage and come out of the other side better, happier and wiser. With a side order of knowing your ex has crashed and burned big time! Karma is a bitch and I love her for that.
How to look after 2 kids, 1 husband and run a house. It ain't easy! And you don't get paid!
A piece of fluff
I've still got all my diaries from 12 until around 22, thought it'd be good to do something based on those until I read them and all I wanted to do was burn them.
I don't have a book in me!
Music
A perfect world. A perfect love. A perfect life. A perfect dream.
I can't give away the plot. Some other fucker will write it before me if I do that...
Fast cars and cheap women....
It would probably be a cookery book. One old friend used to tell me I should get myself a tv show.
Drugs and football violence. The only two things I know about
Glue.
Paris and London fashions from 1947 (new look Dior) through to the 1950s and the people who lived then.
I haven't a fucking clue. Sorry.
I'd like to an autobiography of my life, an ordinary bloke life, just my normal life in a book.
A series of comic misunderstandings befalling a group of mostly white middle class men (and some women) in a contemporary London setting, with hilarious consequences.
Anal Sex for Beginners.
My life. I started it but it was full of tangents. Appropriately
I have a half- finished book (don't we all) about playing sunday league football
I'm writing my second at the moment.
Duck rape and their exploding penises (penii?)
I've never heard a more ridiculous suggestion than question 1. I'd right a children's book. I have a story in mind. None of your business.
An ungrateful spoilt brat of a man who is punished by being sent to 1913. He ends up falling in love and gets married before being pressured into joining the army. He is tormented by small children who appear to him and taunt him for being scared, constantly reminding him that he is the only one who knows just how long the war will go on for. He lives through the war, returning to his wife and child shell shocked and physically scarred. Given the chance to return to the present, he does but finds he is unable to cope as no one else understands what he's been through and he cannot talk about it with anyone. He begs to be returned to the past. He is and finds happiness when reunited with his family.
A sassy dinosaur family called the McGoverns.
A biography of Lew Grade.
Fear. And death. And running away. Probably
My shitty depressed suicidal life that always fucks up, I'm always the one things turn out shit for, I'm always the one hurt, and the moral of the story is life is fucking shit, it's a load of bollocks and you can do fuck all to change it.
Oh many things
Revenge.
My life so far in an effort to try and make some sense of it. Or Abba.
Anal Sex for Beginners.
A child's dreams coming true
I'd like to write a book about what I've been though. The rape, the PTSD, the depression, the miscarriage and how I'm still standing (even though I don't really know myself). I'm worried I'll never fall in love, opening up enough to let that happen is the most terrifying thing I can imagine at the moment.
Russian history.
I'd maybe right a children's book. I'd quite like to illustrate a story.
The elephant and the ditch
Something introspective and navel-gazing. Or the entertainment of watching twitter crushes carry on.
Guitars, probably...or music
SEXY TIME
It'd be a collection of poorly written short stories
40-something unrequited love
Bees.
Frogs
Fiction. But, not sure what.
I would rather gouge my own eyes out with a rusty teaspoon than write a book.
The true story of Samantha Cameron's tepid, unsatisfying, yucky sex life with David that creeps her out.
The true story of Samantha Cameron's tepid, unsatisfying, yucky sex life with David that creeps her out.
Fuck all.
Sex and bacon
Depression
A tell all about my great romance; except I'm lonely & single. and am too much of a gentleman to divulge any details. It would be a very short book.
A story about a girl who spent her life playing so many different roles for different people that she didn't know who she was anymore. On her 33rd birthday she wakes up and realises she has to become herself, just one role .....
Probably some stupid love story where everything just works out fine for everyone.
I've done it, and it's published. It's a (not) fictional look at an amateur eventer/IT geek's life. Took five years to produce and two years to get published, was cathartic to write and helped get me out of a spell of depression, due to the death of my four month old daughter.
Probably something humour and mental illness related. God, I don't know
Me.
Nooo idea, but something that would make money or I wouldn't bother!
A child with learning difficulties
A kids book about a sausage dog. I've even drawn some pictures for it!
Something filthy
My life. You would NOT believe the shit I've seen & done. But I can't. Signed a form & everything. Probably shouldn't be writing this...
Why you should fear your government.
My life. Destroyed by addiction, recovery and life now!
Where I work, you wouldn't believe half the shit that goes on there............
Depression
A trip to the moon
Being a student nurse
What makes the best pub in England.
Sex tips, as I'm an expert.
If I wrote a book it would have to be a non fiction one that would help people in some way. However, I had trouble writing a 500 word essay at school many years ago and I much prefer reading to writing, so I probably wouldn't write one at all x
Probably a book of knitting patterns or a tell all book about my abusive childhood.
I have no idea.
I already have a title. But as it's a pun I intend to protect I'm not going to say what it is. Suffice to say it's based on public service in Wales, something I have 20 years experience of. It may or may not have zombies in it.
Whistle-blower for all the secret twitter affairs.
A brilliantly witty, clever, unputdownable novel about something or other. Just havnt thought of anything yet!
I haven't got the patience to write a book
My life.
about the shortest book ever!
How Tuesdays are worse than Mondays
The comedy of my life.
I don't really have the imagination to write a book
Well I am writing a book, like most people on Twitter. It's meant to be about a Revolution but it keeps turning into a love story. It's based on a dream I once had about some people I used to know a long time ago. It's also based on my conversion as a teenager from middle class Catholic Tory to raging atheist socialist. I just wish my characters would all stop crawling into bed with each other or it'll end up like one of those dreadful free erotic fiction novels on Amazon.
Serial killers!!
Children's dreams and how we should help them to believe. Especially that one about the monster under the bed...
General nonsense.
Sex.
Beer and travelling.
The dark thoughts harboured by the most normal people. It would scare the shit out of most folk.
Silliness. Probably zombies. And unicorns. Shotguns. Dragons.
Domestic abuse.
The murder of a fake mummy blogger who is actually a childless man by terrifying Mumsnetters
A fiction story of a man that was born to a virgin
Existential angst, murder, lies, love, loss and creating and defining your own meaning to your life that will eventually let you be the person you were meant to be.
A chinaman
Magical stuff
Magical stuff
Failure, probably
Fannies
Probably a collections of the incredible stories I have collected from my job.
Something children found popular. Kerching.
About the trials and tribulations of being a slug.
Work stuff most likely (anaesthesia)
Importance of medical education, and continuing medical education along a career path.
It would be a kids book with animals in
This question has never crossed my mind, and I have no desire to be a writer. So maybe it would be a short story about people who like reading but don't want to write? (Sorry, it's still early in the morning.)
A jumped up twitter whore who thinks because she is ridiculed on a 2 but local radio show she is famous n special.
Heartbreak murder and the misuse of penguins.
It'd have to be non-fiction; my imagination's rubbish
The life and times of me
Love. And how impossible it to find it. And when you do it doesn't find you. How timing can be a bitch. That the one who is perfect in every way don't see you, and how people ruin their own happiness by chasing the wrong thing. Just open your eyes, man, I'm here, right in front of you.
I am writing a book. But the plot is a secret.
I don't think I'll write a book.
Recovery and living with severe mental illness
A futuristic theme park where they have managed to clone dinosaurs.
Sea Otters
Pitfalls of life
Sadly I don't think I have a book in me
My life
My secret love KB
An unlucky tree called Timmy
The monotony of working in an office, part 16
All the men I've been with!
Probably do it about working on a locked ward, lots of funny stories and some sad ones too! Or one about dragons and what not
Probably an epic historical drama/coming of age story. Maybe with dragons. Basically game of thrones but less people die.
Mucky stuff, of course.
Weight loss/gain/dieting/exercise hell.
Serial killers or music
Socks. Their use for wanking
Magic
my cats
The last year of my life.
Already have written a book - 3 actually. Very diverse topics; 2 fiction, 1 non-fiction. One in my real name, two under a pseudonym. Writing is not my day job.
My dreams, which are weird as hell, so I'm glad dreams don't come true
Spanking.
I'd love to write a book about kids tv shows from when I was little. Moomins, Count Duckula, Sharkey and George, Huxley Pig, The Secret Life of Toys, Shoe People, Juniper Jungle , I could go on.
It would be a nonsensical wander through loads of mad places, bit like Jean Luc Goddards Weekend but for kids. it would mostly be pictures.
Sex. That's where the money is at the moment.
Being sad in Wales. Like Dylan Thomas on Mogadon
I'd write an autobiography, I'm just that self-centred
My book would be called "Learning to read". It would have one page that says "Well done".
Probably a crime/murder/police type of thing.
I'd love to write a book about all the strange things I think about to do with us as people. Me and my brother sometimes get so philosophical it gives me headaches. So I'd love to expel the thoughts from my brain to a page. I think that's the best explanation for it. (I'm a terrible writer though) ...can't wait to read these answers there's gonna be a real mixed bag!
My fun filled life.
Irn bru.
Autism and how to change the ignorance surrounding it
I have no idea.....that's why I will never write a book
How to be a cunt
I couldn't imagine!
Probably children/domestic family situation type chick lit although I'd like to think I could do something a little weightier!!
Something history related.
My life. I wouldn't let anyone else read it.
I like the idea of writing some kind of crime thriller, but more realistically it would be some kind of text/reference book
How not to screw up your life